| summer vacation |
[15 Jun 2004|09:08am] |
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mood |
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 curious |
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last day of fucking school.
i am so happy
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| air conditioned 5th period. |
[26 May 2004|11:42am] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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alright so im really dissapointed with alot of people latley.
one person i feel her on some things but then she just contradicts herself and turns into this big hypocrit. i wish she would just be the old person i knew. But i guess new friends mean you gain new personalities....or maybe you could say you are just and easily influenced. whatever ive decided i give up.
I miss Chris! and yesterday he came over but made some weed brownies except he didnt wanna put eggs in so he substitutes that with extra oil. Well it was all on top foaming and stuff in the oven. Then he decides he wants to mix the eggs in and by the time he cracked the eggs over the brownies were too hot and they started to scramble. him and deane ate balls of it. it was so gross! haha then he fell asleep....and everyone knows when chris falls asleep hes not waking up until hes ready. and he dosent remember anything that happens! haha awwwwwwww and when i came home and he was asleep in my bed he was sucking his thumb!!! <3 i loooooooooooooooooove him!
anyways ghey project due for history tomorrow.
its my final but my sister Steve and manarms are helpin me.
and deane and jay were there to help me smoke the weed of course hahah.
me and alyssa both have to do this so i got double materials and we are working together after school and later on tonight. should be fun cause i got a negro cotton pickin field me and manda were working on.
The kittens are getting big. ANOTHER MONTH and katie kafader gets her kitten. i swear hers is the cutest one and the most playful. he the fattest too. hahah
then steph gets the little girl
and i get the little tiny black one which is the runt. becasue i know trust anyone with the runt of the litter becasue sometimes they need special care, so he is my new kitten his name is BEAR he rules. haha
my other cat ben got outside and started fucking his mom. Ben was wild and his mom still is. and when we leave the windows open he jumps out sometimes. oh well BIG BEN is still my fucking boy. hahah
let me state that
80's night is the gayest thing ever
and so is
MY SPACE.
and the ugly bitch with the computer hearts over her tits. horrible....WHAT THE FUCK? thats what i want to say to some of these girls, LIKE TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR FACE AND NOT YOUR HAIR OR YOUR TITS OR YOUR LEG. dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
I HATE DUMB FUCKING GIRLS
so on another note.
steve and deane slept over and college steve is gonna help me and alyssa. haha
alright periods ending bbbbbbbbbbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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| HEY! wha hoppened? |
[06 May 2004|10:44pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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so i havent updated in a while.
ive been sick for the last two or three weeks, throwing up and shit. But its been good for about two days now.
lauren and alyssa picked me up from school and chris came down:) we all smoked and got chinese food!!! yeaaa bud
saturday me and chris are hanging out.
tomorrow me and lauren are probably going shopping and getting drunk.
i ordered new shoes online. they should be comming soon,
and the 3 little kittens are fucking cute.
katie kafader gets one! (ben look alike)
im keeping one.
and if anyone is looking for a little girl kitten she is a dark tabby.
they are only about a week and a half old so about another 7 and a half weeks.
call me if you want her!!
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| sick |
[28 Apr 2004|09:36pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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daughters |
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ive been sick for like a week. its sucks.
all i want to do is sleep. and i feel nausious all the time.
my cat casey had four kittens today... one of them came out dead but three are healthy.
hopefully i get better for this weekend with my hubby!:)
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| fuckin a |
[20 Apr 2004|11:32pm] |
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mood |
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 sore |
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music |
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strike anywhere |
] |
smoked with a bunch of people today.
saw chris :) <3
me and alyssa went in late and did the best friends 420 first smoke of the day whyln session. haha
softball game at 8. lost really bad. manarms deuce and marky came and watched.
got in a fight with the umpire as usual. yeah gay shit.
well tomorrow is a personal day. no people over. im cleaning my room and i desperatly need to do laundry. then i have another game.
well 420 is over in about 25 minutes so im going to sleep. goodnight
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[20 Apr 2004|10:42am] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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HAPPY 4/20!!!
so me alyssa lauren and our friend tierney are smoked the first blunt of the day after school!
then jay deane manda and steve are comming down and so is the hubby chris!!! im excited. today is going to be aweeesome.
softball game last night. lost 3-2 three hour game.
game again today, haha i hope alyssa and chris go.
well HALF DAY OF SCHOOL too thats fucking SWEET!
haha my friend monique is sitting next to me and she is rolling her ass off. hahah i love florence highschool.
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| spring break |
[14 Apr 2004|04:58pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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brand new |
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i haven't updated in a while.
in the middle of spring break.
its been great.
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| i just wanted to say. |
[06 Apr 2004|11:43am] |
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its hard to really call you sometimes.
because i know that i want to, but i know that you hate me.
i really cant let anything go, because i am living in my old life
without you by my side.
so im fucking up really bad like ive always done.
and when sorry just isnt enough, i cut you done again.
with big giagantic sharp metal scissors, i cut away your flesh
and then naw on the bones. because i can't get that taste out of my mouth, its sick and it savors for years.
I cant stand that im this way.
i know i through it all the fuck away.
for what good reason?
for no good reason.
i dont deserve anything from anyone.
i dont deserve you
i dont deserve you
how many times do i have to question myself?
walk on eggshells around myself?
i have nothing to be scared of but broken hearts and rose petals.
but i have caused a fucking war.
blood guts eveything that i have built ive torn.
my bridge has crumbled and you stayed on the other side.
but i am building everything by hand and heart
from the bolts to the wires to every splinter in the wood.
i want to spill as much blood as i caused you.
no looking back
no looking back
its almost done.
<sf3
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| tired |
[04 Apr 2004|09:44pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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owls |
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spring break is this week.
im really going to have so much fun.
last night was really fun drunk with a whole bunch of kids.
i kinda didnt want the computer back.
its weird because i just kind feel really sad.
everyone makes me feel bad for one thing or another...
and HE is really drilling it into a head that already has fifty other holes.
i fucking miss you.
i just really feel like saying i love you.
and oh my fucking god what did i do?
i need sleep.
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| bored |
[01 Apr 2004|11:16am] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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im in business management. School is like my only source of the internet cause my computer at home dosent work.
I think im getting my nose peirced this weekend or next weekend.
I need a job.
I cant wait till spring break.... i just want to dedicate the whole break to my friends. it should be awesome.
and on april 20!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCHOOL HAS A HALF DAY.
haha perfect.
I really miss my sister. it sucks comming home everyday to nothing. to just an empty house.... last year we would go to school together and everyone would come over afterschool and we would have so much fun. I dont know i guess i just feel like half a person without her.
alyssa went home at like 930 this morning cause she had to take preslei to the hospital. Im calling her next period and i want to go down to see her...
today sucks.
i hope preslei is ok.<3333
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[29 Mar 2004|11:29am] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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yeah so school again.
people need to stop fucking running there mouths about shit they dont even know. FUCK YOU COURTNEY, YOU UGLY ASS MOTHER FUCKING BITCH. no fucking words next time i see you.
drama.
on a lighter note....
drannnnnnnk friday
beach saturday with jake joe lauren brooke brendon bryan jut and ace. fuuuuun hahah
5-0 was up on the way home.
then jake lauren and joe came over we smoked and watched a really cheesy porn called uninvited guests. haha
sunday KEVINS BDAY. happy biiiiiiirthday. hahah
smoked with drew like in the morning.
then joe lauren jake manda deane jesse and kyle lynch.
fun
hopefully beach again this weekend
SKATE AND SURF FEST aaaaaaahhhh
and spring mother fucking break.
WHYLNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
ps- im sorry for doing the shit ive done to you. but what a write down is thoughts and just that. just what i am thinking at that moment in time. To vent, to vent my fucking frustrations. and for you to invade my privacy like that, LIKE YOU ALWAYS HAVE is fucking wrong too. i am sorry, but you should be too. That wasnt even meant for you.
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| 5th period project |
[25 Mar 2004|11:19am] |
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mood |
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anxious |
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so right im suppose to be doing this project on sweden.
i dont feel like it so im turing my head towards the wonderful world of livejournal.
i have a meeting with my probation officer today at 430.
they are going to ask me stupid questions and ask if ive done any other drugs besides weed.
of course not.
i hate lieing out my asshole.
i wish sometimes i could just talk to someone like that.
the truth is i do feel lazy and fat when i smoke.
i dont regret it i love weed. alot.
But i forgot what its like to be clean for a while.
and i dont want to miss anything.
Ive been doing okay in school latley.
ive been going and staying. not skipping.
I accually feel like im in control of my life.
for the first time in a long time.
I have alot of friends that are fun to hang out with.
I just cant wait till summer. I need a job too.
Im also reading this book called A MILLION LITTLE PEICES
its about drug addiction.... maybe thats why im scared.
becasue i dont want to end up like this character in the book, and i know im capable of it.
oh well.
i want to see dawn of the dead this weekend.
and i want some forties.
ill be happy.
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| yeah |
[22 Mar 2004|11:49am] |
| [ |
mood |
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bitchy |
] |
yeah so i have my period and that sucks.
i feel like shit.
and im in school.
im going to the bathroom with alyssa to smoke a cigarette
and chris found a new girl jen.
i love my life.
happy bday incase my comp dosent work
KATIE KAFADER. I LOVE YOU
AND
ERIC BRADEIS
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| i feel strangled |
[14 Mar 2004|09:11pm] |
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mood |
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angry |
] |
alright so the weekend was ok.
i went to the 1905 show today IT WAS AWESOME
Got pulled over two times getting there and then we locked the keys in the car and a guy named BLAZE from AAA got us unlocked for free cause i said i had my inhaler in there. haha
im finally home. thankgod.
i guess im sorry... i dont know :(
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| business management |
[08 Mar 2004|11:37am] |
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mood |
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anxious |
] |
so im in class at the moment
just finished a test that i probably totally failed.
But this weekend ruled!
It was my amazingly fucked up weekend.(since the drug tests yah know! I GOTTA GO OUT WITH A BANG)
Friday- i smoked with my sister alyssa deuce lauren and pjoey!
i got drunk as balls sittin with all of them. then i passed out and woke up at 1030 and smoked moooore.
Saturday- Chris came and hung out then i went to see the passion of the christ with my parents WHICH i fucking walked out right before the crucifiction scene. I mean i dont beleive in god but i know that any normal person who went through that much beating would be long long fucking dead before alot of the shit they said happened. and it really made me sick that people were bring there little kids with them and shit. Most of them were to young to pay attention or read the fucking subtitles. and some little black girl was like clenching onto me and crying on my shoulders and begging her mom to take her out. i felt really really bad.
Then i went to unos and got served at the bar WHA WHA. haha
Sunday- LAUREN AND PJOEY came over to smoke a blunt with me. awwww
got drunk off of what i had left of the vodka and then some old shit from saturday.
the weed smokage stops at 6pm
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[05 Mar 2004|08:13am] |
yo mother fuckers.
im in first period in the library.
whitney says hi.
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| is ath so? |
[04 Mar 2004|03:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 drunk |
] |
| [ |
music |
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ECONOSCHRIST |
] |
darunk ass bpost niggas.
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| locked up |
[01 Mar 2004|09:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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hey mercedes |
] |
so i went to my court date today.
got fucking screwed over so bad.
alright ive never been charged with anything EVER.
my first offense and i am a minor.
I got.
6 months probation
Periodical Drug Testings
1 MOTHER FUCKING DAY IN JAIL
2 weeks at a fucking boot camp in july with gang members. fun.
then 3 months counceling like three times a week at a drug rehabilitation center.
burlington twp. cops
suck a fat one.
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